Critiques

[Jon O]

If anyone could share their opinions on "Oh Sweetie" I'd really appreciate it. Good or bad I just need more, informed opinions on the work.  I'm going through a real creative crisis here.  Karma for the help.

[JimN]

If anyone could share their opinions on "Oh Sweetie" I'd really appreciate it. Good or bad I just need more, informed opinions on the work.  I'm going through a real creative crisis here.  Karma for the help.

Honestly, Jon, I was a little confused by it. It flowed well and I was able to follow the action easily but when the woman falls apart at the end, wasn't quite sure what to make of it. My interpretation was that she was made of cake (thus creating a play on words with the title) but I may be totally off base on that. If she is a sweetie in more than one sense of the word, and she fell apart after his pursuit of her, I can think certainly think of ways to interpret that but overall, I think what the strip may need is just a little more clarity of purpose.

I hope that's helpful.

Jim

[Jon O]

Thank you so much for getting the ball rolling.  It's a literal retelling of a dream I had, so you're interpretation is as good as mine.  I was going for that pun with the title so that's good.

Is the style too simplistic? I'd like to be as clear and concise as possible, but not if it's at the expense of interest.  I wonder if Kochalka has these days?

[JimN]

Thank you so much for getting the ball rolling.  It's a literal retelling of a dream I had, so you're interpretation is as good as mine.  I was going for that pun with the title so that's good.

Is the style too simplistic? I'd like to be as clear and concise as possible, but not if it's at the expense of interest.  I wonder if Kochalka has these days?

He's an artist so I'm sure he does. We all do.

I think keeping the style simple works with this strip but it might benefit from a little more detail. Perhaps if you added a few touches the to the characters like an indication of hair on the man (maybe some hair on the sides but bald on top) or a simple pattern on the woman's dress?

At the end, if you want to convey the impression that the pieces of the woman are cake-like, you could add a few dots or circles to indicate a cake texture.

Basically, I think you can keep it simple but still add a little more character to the drawing.

That was an interesting dream!

[Bluenote77]

I can only echo the same thing that Jim said already. It's a very cool concept and play on imagery and words, but with a little help from some detailing, as Jim mentioned, I think the story would be a little more complete.

[Jon O]

Thanks guys.  I'm thinking that it looks even more sparse due to being black and white.

Next personal project, rendering and spotting blacks. I think I'm going to do some character studies of the Snarked cast.

[ThePatheticClub]

Here are three sketches I'd like critiqued. I'm trying to level up my chops and find my own style recently. So these are explorations. What you see is a chronological progression of my sketches in the last few weeks.

Lizard.


Cube


Fish