Thank you so much for getting the ball rolling. It's a literal retelling of a dream I had, so you're interpretation is as good as mine. I was going for that pun with the title so that's good.
Is the style too simplistic? I'd like to be as clear and concise as possible, but not if it's at the expense of interest. I wonder if Kochalka has these days?
He's an artist so I'm sure he does. We all
I think keeping the style simple works with this strip but it might benefit from a little more detail. Perhaps if you added a few touches the to the characters like an indication of hair on the man (maybe some hair on the sides but bald on top) or a simple pattern on the woman's dress?
At the end, if you want to convey the impression that the pieces of the woman are cake-like, you could add a few dots or circles to indicate a cake texture.
Basically, I think you can keep it simple but still add a little more character to the drawing.
That was an interesting dream!