11 O'Clock Comics Episode 198

[David]

Wait a second...

To read the complete Curse of the Crimson Corsair serial, you'll need to get every issue of every title?

[Chris Campbell]

Cool Hand Luke, dressed in black on a desert planet with two suns, strolling into a galactic gangster's house  and fucking up his whole crew? Choking motherfuckers?

On point. 

Game
Set
Match

[David]

How Chris Marshall sees DC collecting Before Watchmen.

[Julian Lytle]

Skywalker are soft. They will forever be soft. They baby thighs.

If your character is played by Harrison Ford you tough. If you're played by Billy Dee Williams (do not call that man Lando. He was cooler than the artic before star wars and after. #colt45) you tough and icy. Chewie=tough. R2d2=gulliness, could be an autobot.

[Wood]

I can't handle this Skywalker hate.

He was the first character I ever thought was unstoppable. Luke MOFUGGIN Skywalker...say what?!?!

Han is tougher than Luke? Huh? Would that be the same Han who let a clone stick him in future-cement all because he owed a fat ol' dude some loot? Last time I checked Luke was beating Han at the pimphand game (until he realized Leia was his sister, then he let her bounce to ol' boy), AND Luke arranged for Han's rescue and rolled into Jabba's palace and WRECKED SHOP including taking out a giant beast...all in a day's work.

Lando is tougher than Luke? Would that be the same Lando that let Vader get the drop on him, IN HIS OWN HOME!?!? If Lando was a BAWSE he would've had Cloud City gangsta-fortified. He would've had snitches on the city edges, he would've had cyber-spiked tiger pits ready to open up when they got into his offices, and he would've had snipers 'n vipers ready to make quick work of that Giant Cyborg-Jedi before he had the chance to get the jump. And THEN? AND THEN after Vader got the jump, a real BAWSE would've died before giving up his boys like dat. That's straight BITCHASSNESS.

Lando was a bitch. Through and through.

[David]

Han is tougher than Luke? Huh? Would that be the same Han who let a clone stick him in future-cement all because he owed a fat ol' dude some loot? Last time I checked Luke was beating Han at the pimphand game (until he realized Leia was his sister, then he let her bounce to ol' boy), AND Luke arranged for Han's rescue and rolled into Jabba's palace and WRECKED SHOP including taking out a giant beast...all in a day's work.

WORD.

Lando is tougher than Luke? Would that be the same Lando that let Vader get the drop on him, IN HIS OWN HOME!?!? If Lando was a BAWSE he would've had Cloud City gangsta-fortified. He would've had snitches on the city edges, he would've had cyber-spiked tiger pits ready to open up when they got into his offices, and he would've had snipers 'n vipers ready to make quick work of that Giant Cyborg-Jedi before he had the chance to get the jump. And THEN? AND THEN after Vader got the jump, a real BAWSE would've died before giving up his boys like dat. That's straight BITCHASSNESS.

Lando was a bitch. Through and through.

"I have altered the deal.  Pray I don't alter it any further."

[electric mayhem]

Han settled for Luke's sloppy seconds...  and didn't fire first... 

[Wood]

"I have altered the deal.  Pray I don't alter it any further."

 

[Jay Tomio - Part Deux]

While fundamentally I agree, this is Chick-fil-A/egg samwich situation. Luke's OGness is predicated on his Father being able to roll up in your town and run shit. Remember, Vader is representative of the Empire. Let me put this in digits for you. The Empire has been said to be  span one and a half million planets and another 60 some odd million colonies (probably means like moons, not planet sized), they were the chief military power in that galaxy, they could have just blown Cloud City up or just taken the planet outright. The thought of saying shit to Vader at that moment, after seeing him block a fucking laser with his hand and magically taking Han's gun from him, is solid enough information that you may not want to fuck with James Earl. Lando thought he had a deal worked out and upon finding out he didn't he made a move. It's like this, if your boy is in trouble and is in your pad, what are you going to do if Seal Team 6 parachutes into your den, and they are led by a fucking Samurai Magician Nazi who rode in on Unicron.

Remember, Lando did infiltrate Jaba's palace and then fucked up the Deathstar 2.

[Wood]

While fundamentally I agree, this is Chick-fil-A/egg samwich situation. Luke's OGness is predicated on his Father being able to roll up in your town and run shit. Remember, Vader is representative of the Empire. Let me put this in digits for you. The Empire has been said to be  span one and a half million planets and another 60 some odd million colonies (probably means like moons, not planet sized), they were the chief military power in that galaxy, they could have just blown Cloud City up or just taken the planet outright. The thought of saying shit to Vader at that moment, after seeing him block a fucking laser with his hand and magically taking Han's gun from him, is solid enough information that you may not want to fuck with James Earl. Lando thought he had a deal worked out and upon finding out he didn't he made a move. It's like this, if your boy is in trouble and is in your pad, what are you going to do if Seal Team 6 parachutes into your den, and they are led by a fucking Samurai Magician Nazi who rode in on Unicron.

Remember, Lando did infiltrate Jaba's palace and then fucked up the Deathstar 2.

Fair point in defense of Lando. But I still don't see how that makes him anywhere close to Luke. By your own example, Luke was the bastard son of UberCosmicHitler, right? And yet he went face to face with ol' boy and won. Several times.

The more I think about it, the more I think that the Marquarie figure wasn't Luke Star-Slayer, but rather JASON Skywalker.

 

[David]

Remember, Lando did infiltrate Jaba's palace and then fucked up the Deathstar 2.

So he's good at following orders (Luke set up the raid on Jabba's place, didn't he?) and being 'the other guy that did that thing'.

[Jay Tomio - Part Deux]

I never said Lando equates to Luke (I don't even know where that came from - Luke is clearly the prodigal son of sons), only that he wasn't a bitch. No bitch leads assualts against the Deathstar and a portion of the Imperial fleet that included the Executor, which means Vader's own detachment, the cream of the imperial crop. I'm not sure that's being "the other guy"

Also, while we haven't see a movie depiction I'm calling Luke's wife is hotter.

[David]

I'm not sure that's being "the other guy"

He's the second guy to blow up a Death Star.

[Jay Tomio - Part Deux]

He's the second guy to blow up a Death Star.

Thinking that will get you laid for life. Win.

[Robert]

Thinking that will get you laid for life. Win.

Not that Lando needed any help in that department, but it never hurts to have an insurance policy. 

[Chris Campbell]

R2d2=gulliness, could be an autobot.

 

[Jay Tomio - Part Deux]

Not that Lando needed any help in that department, but it never hurts to have an insurance policy. 

Natural born pimp AND "General, and Hero of the Rebellion" is not too shabby a combo.

[slurmo]

Not that Lando needed any help in that department, but it never hurts to have an insurance policy. 

Must be all that Schlitz

[Robert]

Must be all that Schlitz

You. Know. This.

[David]

Thinking that will get you laid for life. Win.

And a kiss from your sister.