Best LCS stories

[PipelineRnD]

I worked at my LCS for about a year and a half.  Throughout that time, some interesting stuff happened, naturally.  However, there is one sequence of events that I will always remember.

One day, a new customer came in.  Clearly a hipster type college age guy.  He wandered into the store, and immediatley I spotted the overwhelmed look he had in his eyes when he saw the longboxes going for miles, and the shelves of trades and collections reaching to the roof. 

So, I went up to him, said hello, and asked if he needed help finding anything.  He said no, and continued looking around. 

Then, about 5 minutes later, he comes up to me and starts asking some questions. 

"Do you guys have a book called the Watchers?"

I tried my best not to look to confused, and asked if he could clarify.

"You know, the watchers.  I heard they were making a movie about it"

Finally it clicked, and I led him to the rack where we had our copies of Watchmen. 

"That's not it."

At this point, I was slightly irritated.  I told him that this book was being made into a movie, and was called the Watchmen, and maybe he remembered the title wrong. 

"The book is supposed to have a cover with a window being broken."

So, I realized that he was still talking about the Watchmen, just the first edition trade paperback.  I dug out the one tattered copy that we had in stock.

"Oh, okay, yeah, that's the Watchers."

I then kindly explained the title was the Watchmen.

"Um, okay, I'm pretty sure I would know the title, I read about all this stuff before I came in."

At this point I thought I was being punked, but it had only just begun.  I pointed out that on the cover, it clearly says Watchmen. 

"Well, okay, whatever.  I have another question though. Do you guys have comics by Jim Kirby?"

The vein in my forehead pulsed a bit, and I answered that I don't know of a Jim Kirby, but we have a bunch of Jack Kirby comics. 

"Oh, okay.  Like Z: The Last Man?"

At this point, I shit my pants.  Was this guy joking?  He had a brilliant poker face if he was.  I told him that We had a comic called Y: The Last Man, but it wasn't drawn by Jack Kirby.  So I walked him over to the Vertigo rack, and pulled out the first trade. 

"Wow, this is really long."

I then told him that it was the first of ten volumes. 

"Oh.....that's a lot of reading.  I thought comics were for kids.  Shouldn't they be short?"

I didn''t even bother to answer that question.

"How much are they each"

I told him they were about 15 bucks a pop.

"That's kind of ridiculous, no wonder nobody buys these things.  You guys should make them cheaper."

I kindly explained that we didn't have very much power to make items cheaper than retail. 

"Oh, well that's dumb."

At this point, I walked away because I spotted someone who may or may not have needed help and went and talked with them.

About ten minutes later, the guy looking for Jim Kirby comics came up to the counter with 3 volumes of Y: The Last Man.  I noticed that they weren't volumes 1-3,  but some random smattering of Y trades (I can't recall the exact volumes, but they were not 1-3).

I told him that he should probably get volumes 1-3 if he wanted the story to make sense. 

"Yeah, but these were the three cheapest ones"

I explained that if he bought these three it would be like watching 3 random 10 minute clips of a movie. 

"Um, okay, those are the three I want."

So, even though it wasn't in his best interest, I rang him up, and even gave him the 15 percent discount that we sometimes give to customers.  Then I told him the price.

"That's ridiculous.  I had to help myself this entire time.  All you did was tell me how I was wrong about everything I said.  I should get a discount."

I told him that I had in fact given him a discount, and I also used all my inner strength not to reach for the "no refunds" pellet gun we keep in the drawer in case of an emergency.

"THIS IS WHY NOBODY LIKES COMIC BOOKS!  BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ARE JERKS!  TERRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE!"

As he was yelling this he was walking out the door, Y: The Last Man trades still firmly in hand......

Anybody else have any interesting LCS stories?

[siren3-4]

Great story . . . I totally would have thought he was pulling my leg . . . you have amazing control . . . 

[PipelineRnD]

I'm seventeen years old, and I'm the first to admit that in the face I look closer to 14.  So sure, people might think I'm not a reliable source of info sometimes, but this guy was ridiculous. 

The "no refund" gun was looking more and more attractive every passing second.....

[Colonel2Sheds]

I worked at an LCS for about 2 years myself.

One day I had a woman come into the shop and so I went up and asked if I could help her find anything.

She said she was looking for a specific book that one of her friends had told her about. So I asked her what it was called, but she couldn't remember, nor could she remember who the author was.

So I asked her if she could tell me what it was about, she could not. She said all she knew was that it was "Red and it was $10.99"

Defeated, I apologized and said I would need a little more information than that if I was going to be able to help her, I offered to suggest something else to her if she described the kind of stories or movies she liked but she was just mad that I "refused" to help her find the book she wanted.

I tried to explain that we don't exactly have a "RED, $10.99 section" but she just decided I was being unhelpful. At which point I got annoyed and told her to come back if she figured out what it was she was looking for.

I really don't know what else I could have done for this strange person....

[PipelineRnD]

I worked at an LCS for about 2 years myself.

One day I had a woman come into the shop and so I went up and asked if I could help her find anything.

She said she was looking for a specific book that one of her friends had told her about. So I asked her what it was called, but she couldn't remember, nor could she remember who the author was.

So I asked her if she could tell me what it was about, she could not. She said all she knew was that it was "Red and it was $10.99"

Defeated, I apologized and said I would need a little more information than that if I was going to be able to help her, I offered to suggest something else to her if she described the kind of stories or movies she liked but she was just mad that I "refused" to help her find the book she wanted.

I tried to explain that we don't exactly have a "RED, $10.99 section" but she just decided I was being unhelpful. At which point I got annoyed and told her to come back if she figured out what it was she was looking for.

I really don't know what else I could have done for this strange person....

Yeah.  People don't seem to bring their common sense along for the ride when they go to the LCS.  I'm pretty sure you wouldn't ask for someone to help you find an item at a grocery store that had a blue box and was 79 cents, but at an LCS people for some reason assume that it's a perfectly logical thing to do. 

[Colonel2Sheds]

Another story similar to your "watchers/watchmen" story.

I used to work at the big book chain in my city. So one day a woman walked up to me.

She looked like she was reluctant to ask me the question, but she came up anyway and said:

"You probably won't be able to help me."

Odd way to start the conversation, but whatever. I ask her I'll do my best.

Woman: "Well... I'm looking for this book that you probably have never heard of"

Me: Try me. I have worked here a long time and I know a lot about books.

W: Well... it's called "General Ire"

Me:... General Ire?... Well I've not heard of it, but let's check the computer

No match for General Ire, she's getting agitated saying that she knew I would never have heard of it because it's a "womans book" (whatever the hell THAT means)

So suddenly (and I have no idea why) I think "Maybe she is thinking of Jane Eyre..." So I take her to it and it was right on. Exactly what she was looking for.

I found it hilarious that she thought someone working in a book store wouldn't have at least heard or Jane Eyre, and even more hilarious was her insistence that I'd not know it because it was a Womans book...

[Matt H.O.W.L.]

I found it hilarious that she thought someone working in a book store wouldn't have at least heard or Jane Eyre, and even more hilarious was her insistence that I'd not know it because it was a Womans book...

Really? I thought the hilarious (and sad) part was that she had gone through her life up to that moment thinking that the book was called General Ire! 

[Colonel2Sheds]

Really? I thought the hilarious (and sad) part was that she had gone through her life up to that moment thinking that the book was called General Ire!  Roll On Floor Laughing Cry

Well that too... I wonder whether she thought was about Ire in general terms or about a General named Ire... 

[RealGone]

Really? I thought the hilarious (and sad) part was that she had gone through her life up to that moment thinking that the book was called General Ire! 

It's not completely inaccurate though. I know I personally felt general ire after I read that cursed book.

[Papercut]

I feel all your pain. Having worked retail (book stores, primarily) most of my high school and college years, those vaguely coherent searches are always so much FUN.

One story always comes to mind is a tad different…


I was working a weekday morning at a mall bookstore and noticed a guy, probably in his early 50's, waiting outside of the closed gates. When it was time to open, he bee-lined to the magazine racks and started searching. With a disappointed grunt, he turned to me and asked if the new Playboy was in yet. I told him that the magazine shipment didn't usually come in until the early afternoon. So he left.

So about every hour until the afternoon, he'd wander back into the store to check the racks and then leave. I remember thinking that this guy really had an itch to scratch.

The magazines did finally come in and we got them shelved. A few minutes later the guy walks in, sees his plastic-coated MacGuffin, grabs it and walks up the counter with a big smile. As I'm ringing it up, he asks if I've seen the new Playboy yet. Despite the fact that they frown on employees ripping open the skin mags in the back room (which occurred sometimes anyway), I guess he wondered if I had a subscription or something (no -- though my roommates did. For the articles, of course. ). I told him no and so he proceeded to open the wrapping and pull out the magazine at the counter. The store was empty and the one other employee was in the back room (probably reading a Playboy) but I do believe my eyes widened a bit with an "Oh geez -- what next?" expression.

He flips to one of the pictorials and lays it down with an even bigger smile.

"That's my daughter," he says.

"Really?" Avoiding eye contact...

"Yep -- she'd been trying for months to get in and she finally made it," he replies back. "Beautiful, isn't she?"

And I shit you not, he actually stroked the face on the page with a finger while smiling down at it.

"Uh, yeah. You must be very proud."

With that he smiled again, closed up the magazine, declined a bag (I'm almost POSITIVE that he wanted it in hand for easy access to show random guys in the mall), and walked out. I never saw the guy in the store since then, but I'll never get the picture of his proud/creepy smile out of my head.

[Colonel2Sheds]

 

That is the single most awesome thing I've heard all day. That tops Bigfoot.

[Matt H.O.W.L.]

Wow. That guy's either really evolved or devolved. I can't tell. Maybe he's evolved beyond personal hang-ups about his offspring's sexuality and can appreciate her physical beauty for being just that. Or, he's a complete creep. You decide.